The Tradition of ‘Giving Away’ the Bride: Origins, Meaning, and Modern Relevance

The moment when a partner walks down the aisle with a loved one by their side can be one of the most anticipated and emotional parts of a wedding ceremony. Traditionally, this moment culminates in the symbolic act of the bride being ‘given away’ to their partner. But where did this custom originate, and what does it signify today?

The Historical Roots of ‘Giving Away’

The practice of ‘giving away’ the bride dates back centuries and is deeply rooted in patriarchal traditions. In many cultures, marriage was historically viewed as a transaction between families rather than a romantic union between two individuals. A woman was often considered the property of her father until she was handed over to her new spouse. The act of ‘giving away’ symbolised the transfer of guardianship and responsibility, often accompanied by a dowry or an exchange of goods.

In medieval Europe, arranged marriages were common, with unions strategically planned to forge alliances, increase wealth, or consolidate power. Love was rarely a factor in these arrangements, and the bride had little say in the matter. Her father quite literally ‘gave her away’ as part of a binding contract.

The Evolution of the Tradition

As societies evolved and marriages became more about love and personal choice rather than economic or political gain, so too did the significance of this tradition. Over time, the practice has shifted from an obligatory transfer of ownership to a heartfelt gesture of love and support.

Many modern couples choose to incorporate this tradition in a way that is more inclusive and meaningful to them. Some see it as a moment to honour a special person in their life—be it a parent, step-parent, grandparent, sibling, or even a close friend—rather than a symbol of ownership. for example, in my own wedding I chose to have my sister as my only attendant (I guess ‘maid of honour’ although I’m not fond of that phrase) and my dad and my brother walking me down the aisle:

What ‘Giving Away’ Means Today

In contemporary weddings, this tradition has been reinterpreted in many ways to reflect personal values and family dynamics. Some couples choose to reframe the wording, replacing ‘Who gives this woman to be married?’ with something more inclusive, such as:

• “Who supports this couple in their marriage?”
• “Who presents this person to be married today?”

For same-sex couples, the tradition can be adapted in ways that feel right for them. Some may choose to have both parents or loved ones escort them, while others walk in together to symbolise equality. A couple may also opt for a ‘receiving’ ritual where each partner is welcomed by the other’s family as a gesture of love and inclusion.

Alternatives to Traditional Giving Away

For couples who prefer not to follow this custom, there are plenty of creative alternatives, such as:

• Walking down the aisle together – Symbolising equality and unity from the very start.
• Having both parents walk each partner down the aisle – Honouring all parental figures equally.
• A solo entrance – Walking in alone can be a powerful statement of independence and self-determination.
• A group entrance – Some couples walk in with their entire wedding party, signifying a shared journey.
• A moment of welcome – Instead of ‘giving away,’ families can be asked, “Who welcomes this union?” to reflect love and support.

Pop Culture Interpretations of ‘Giving Away’

Dick: [explaining Earth weddings] The ceremony begins with the bride being given away.
Sally: Excuse me? Given away? Like an object? As in, “free girl with every large fries”?
Tommy: Hey, there are free girls? Can I go?
Harry: Fries? Can I go?

Throughout history, various cultures have interpreted the act of ‘giving away’ differently, and this has been reflected in pop culture as well.

• In Game of Thrones, noblewomen were often ‘given’ in marriage in Westerosi customs, if not by a father who might have been brutally murdered, (Sansa Stark) by the family who committed the murder as a sign of power and sadism (King Joffrey). 

 

• In Father of the Bride (1991 & 2022), the father struggles with the idea of his daughter getting married, not because he is ‘giving her away,’ but because he wants to ensure she is truly happy. In key moments, rather than focusing on traditional ownership, he expresses love, wisdom, and support, ultimately embracing his daughter’s choice as her own.

Keeping the Tradition Personal and Meaningful

Ultimately, whether to incorporate the ‘giving away’ tradition is a deeply personal decision. Today, weddings are about celebrating love in a way that resonates with the couple’s values, beliefs, and relationships. The beauty of modern ceremonies is that they allow couples to honour traditions in a way that feels right for them—whether that means embracing, modifying, or forgoing this age-old custom.

Giving away of the bride or no- however a couple chooses to approach this moment, the essence remains the same: a celebration of love, support, and the beginning of a new chapter together.

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