Note: the image above is NOT AI! It is a real cow with a real couple on a real farm in Byron Bay 🙂

 

Ironically, I asked ChatGPT this very question out of curiosity as to what it would come back with!

Here’s what I got:

“Using ChatGPT to help write your wedding vows can be a great way to gather inspiration and structure your thoughts, especially when you’re feeling emotional or unsure how to put those feelings into words. Ultimately, the vows are deeply personal, and tools like this can assist in making sure they reflect your genuine emotions and the love you have for your partner. It’s all about how you feel when you read or speak them—if they capture your heart and story, then it’s a beautiful and meaningful choice! You can also tweak the wording so that it feels authentically yours.”

Well bravo, ChatGPT! Couldn’t have put it better myself! Haha!

 

 

A common fear

As a wedding celebrant, probably the biggest fear I hear from my couples is around writing their own wedding vows. And that’s understandable, for so many reasons.

1. Because it’s not every day you get married- so it’s not like most people have any experience with writing wedding vows!
2. On top of that, it’s a day high with emotion. So thinking about saying vows with intense feelings of excitement, love, and trepidation, knowing you might cry mid-way or that your voice will wobble, can be anxiety-inducing.
3. You will be often standing in front of a lot of people (unless it’s an elopement. This is not just a casual toast you might make at your partner’s intimate birthday dinner with immediate family around.Public speaking is a massive fear for a great many people.
4. Many people are not natural born writers. And on top of that the written word is quite different to writing for the spoken word.

So where do you turn  to get some help with your wedding vows?

 

I email each of my couples a ‘Wedding Vows Guide’ to help them formulate some ideas; to kickstart some concepts to give them a starting point.

The feedback I’ve had from the Guide has been overwhelmingly positive. Now, with AI becoming increasingly woven into the very fabric of our society, it’s no wonder that there are now specific apps to help you write your own wedding vows too!

But will AI give you the vows that will sound authentically you? Your partner is the person who knows you probably best in the whole world. Will they be able to tell if you’ve used AI to write your vows? I know that most of the time, I can spot AI a mile away  both in imagery and in prose. Let me give you an example- I put the following into ChatGpt to see what it would give me:

Example of what AI churns out

“Please write my secular wedding vows to my partner. I want to tell him how much I love and value him, how I fell in love with him for his ability to make me laugh and for his fun and spontaneous nature.  How I know our relationship will always be full of adventure and that I’m looking forward to seeing him as a dad. Can’t wait to see what the future holds for us!”

Here’s what it came back with:

“From the moment I met you, I knew my life would never be the same. You have this incredible ability to make me laugh, even when I least expect it, and it’s one of the many reasons I fell in love with you. Your fun, spontaneous spirit fills every day with excitement and adventure, and I know that with you by my side, our lives will never be boring.

I love you not just for the joy you bring me, but for the way you embrace life with such passion and curiosity. You make even the simplest moments feel extraordinary, and I am so grateful to share in all of them with you.

I can’t wait to see where this journey takes us, especially when it comes to building a family together. I know in my heart that you will be a wonderful dad, and I’m so excited for the future we’re going to create.

Today, I promise to stand by your side, to cherish every adventure, and to love you with all that I am, now and forever.”

 

Now, them there are pretty darn good vows! However, there’s no way that I would use this language with my husband. I can even picture my husband saying ‘you got AI to write that didncha?’

So what’s the verdict?

But nevertheless, what a great starting point. I’d probably go on to include a few cheeky bits, because that’s a strong element of the way we interact with each other. I’d make it a little more light-hearted whilst still maintaining the core elements of what I want to say.

 

HOT TIPS

• Pretend that you are saying these words just to your partner with nobody else watching on. Try to eliminate all thought of the guests at this point. This is just you two, speaking to each other.
• Don’t write your wedding vows without speaking them out loud first. When you speak the written word you might want to change the grammar around, or the sentence structure to suit your talking style.
• Rehearse your wedding vows a few times so you are not looking down all the time when reading them to your partner- you’re able to look at them for most of it, only glancing down sporadically. Eye contact is so powerful in this moment!
• Take your time reading your vows. It’s not a race. Speak slowly and feel the feelings as you say the words- this will make them so much more meaningful and emotional rather than just reading them out like a robot.

Summary

So- we can think of AI as just another tool in the toolbox for writing wedding vows; just another starting point to give you some ideas, to kickstart your brain into saying what you want to say. But saying it in your own voice is paramount. I’m guessing your partner doesn’t really want you to  turn from your authentic self (the one they fell in love with, don’t forget!) into some Shakespearean parody of yourself. What’s most important is that you speak in the tone and language you would normally use- that you say what you want to say in a  genuine and heartfelt way. Good luck!

If you’d like to book me in as your celebrant I’d love to hear from you! Contact me here!

Here’s my listing on the Attorney General’s website (just so you know I’m a real celebrant 🙂 and not a robot)