What happens pre-ceremony on the big day?

Want a complete overview of the order of ceremony? CLICK HERE to read my blog post outlining the whole lot!

Here’s a break down of the pre-ceremony section. What happens pre-ceremony, on your big day, prior to the wedding party and guests arriving?

If you are having a simple elopement, this might not be too relevant. For elopements that just involve the couple, celebrant, 2 witnesses and, say, a photographer, we may just meet up at an agreed spot 15 minutes prior. Then sign the DONLIM (Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage*- see below) and then proceed with the ceremony- easy peasy!

What happens pre-ceremony on your big day?

If it is a larger gathering or full- blown wedding with all the bells and whistles, there’s a bit more going on pre- ceremony. It’s not absolutely necessary to have a rehearsal, but this differs for every couple, and it’s something I discuss with people in the lead up to the big day. In any case, here’s generally what happens:

I will arrive at the venue just prior to your guests arriving. This gives me time to set up what I need to set up, so I’m not doing all of that in front of your guests as they arrive- I like to be able to greet them, and have a bit of a chit-chat. I like to make sure everyone is comfortable and knows where to be. If you have delegated someone to be your MC for your reception that isn’t me, (but seriously, choose me! Here’s why.) Then might be a job you’d like them to undertake, although I still like to make myself seen prior to the ceremony starting.
My set- up might include placing my PA (speaker on a tripod and microphone) in the most appropriate spot. In addition, getting the legal paperwork out and set up on the signing table. And then, liaising with other vendors on site.
Your celebrant liaising with your other vendors is really important. Why? Because it’s our job, as a collective, to make sure your day runs smoothly. This may include photographer/videographer, venue coordinator, planner, musician, MC- anyone directly involved in the ceremony.
Videographers may need to mic up one of you, or me, or both. They may want to set up and frame the ceremony and figure out where I should best stand to not be obtrusive for your video.
I’ll also communicate with your photographers and videographers to give them the heads up, of any particular inclusions I’ve got in the ceremony that will be essential not to miss. (Think- a group vow; a surprise witness raffle; whisper vows, etc. I’ll make blog posts about these elements sometime but in the meantime if you are curious feel free to contact me to ask what these are all about!)
Musicians– I will liaise with any DJs or live musicians who might be taking care of your entry song/signing songs/exit song. That way, we will be sure we have a system in place for cues of when to begin and when to fade out/stop music.
Venue managers/coordinators/planners– may have specific requests of me to say certain things during the housekeeping. For example, where the guests should go directly after the ceremony, where smoking areas are etc. I’ll include these along with any other specific requests you and I have discussed. eg. if you want an unplugged ceremony, how and when to throw confetti.
If you are having one half of the wedding party gathered at the ceremony spot waiting for the other to arrive via a traditional entry, I will ensure that they are all looking the best they can be! i.e. in a straight line. Sunnies off heads. Phones/wallets/keys etc out of pockets. Any drinks put away. If the first one is standing right hand over left, I’ll have all of them standing the same way. This makes your photos look 100x better!

Byron Bay Celebrant — Groom and his men looking smart.

*If we haven’t already, this is also the time that I will get you both to sign the DONLIM. (AKA the ‘Statutory Declaration of No Legal Impediment to Marriage’. The signing of this important document must be done in the physical presence of your celebrant (can’t be done over a video call). It must also be done relatively close to the ceremony itself (so, not months beforehand). If we haven’t had a rehearsal, I’ll do this pre ceremony. It is part of the ongoing informed consent process, as well as the final check that you are indeed free to marry each other. You are signing a legal document that states you are over 18, you are not currently married to anyone else, you are not (too) closely related to each other, and know of no other reason as to why you cannot be married to this person on this date. You do not have to be together in order for me to get both signatures.
There is a recent update also concerning informed consent. The celebrant must now meet with each party separately prior to the ceremony and establish that each person is aware of what marriage means, is willing to enter into it, and is not being coerced into the marriage. I have been doing this either at the rehearsal, or on the day.
I will, of course, be calming and bantering with party 1 who is waiting for party 2 to arrive! (See photo below!) I’ll make sure making sure they are ok, not too nervous, get them some water if needed, all that jazz!

first look- Heidi Robertson, celebrant, and groom. Beach restaurant Byron Bay — Van Middleton photography, Beach Restaurant Byron Bay

Summary

The above points give you a pretty standard outline of what a celebrant does pre ceremony on your big day. Keep in mind that this will be variable dependent on your specific situation/ needs (and your celebrant!)

My next mini- post (when I write it!) will break down the ‘Processional’ or entry of the wedding party. I’ll also include alternatives available if you’re not quite sure you want a ‘traditional’ entry!

I’d love to hear from you to chat about your big day- shoot me a quick email here!